How Do You Sneeze in Outer Space?

The Space Race, the Rat Race and the Human Race

Photo: 1984, NASA, Bruce McCandless, first human spacewalk without a safety line. Modified in GIMP.

How do you sneeze in outer space? 
Can you Aaaaahhhhh-chooo in zero gravity
Without a jet propelled calamity?
How do you sneeze in outer space?
Just asking for a friend.

And what happens if I have to cough?
I'm wearing gloves; a helmet, too. 
Would I need inside visor wipers
To clean off all the phlegmy goo?
How do space travelers cough?

I ask these silly questions now
As all of us consider how
We'd like to get away from Earth
And all of its calamity,
Here, where there's 1 G gravity.

But if I can't make it into space 
Some others of the human race
(Perhaps not voluntarily...)
Should be sent forevermore
To some very distant galaxy.

I've got a list - you know the ones:
The plutocrats and politicians;
The ones who lie and boast and bully,
Who tell a twisted capitalist story,
About making money and warrior glory -
Let's ship them all to Alpha Centauri!

A tariff here, a sanction there,
Tariffs and sanctions everywhere;
It's economics odd and eerie:
A wacko Nietzschean Übermensch theory
That profits upper ruling classes
And kicks us all flat on our asses.
How do we get out of here?

And that's why I ask,
(Just for a friend, you understand)
How do you sneeze in outer space?
In case I leave the human race,
In search of some more enlightened place
Of social beings much more rational,
And not obsessed with triumphs national.
How do you sneeze in outer space?

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