Oedipus Sex
Geek and Roaming Mirthology: A Screedplay in One Axe
Curtain Up
Scene Obscene 1
Edie (which is a diminutive of Edith) enters adolescence with an Electra Complex crush on her own father. When, during "family cannabis night," she finally confesses her crush to "dad," he lets her in on a secret: he was actually born a woman and transgendered into a man and Edie's mother was born a "man" who chose to be transgendered into a woman. Consequently, Edie was actually conceived in a fertility clinic as a result of sperm and egg donors provenance unknown, carried to term in a Jersey cow and delivered by a veterinarian on a dairy farm.
Edie is unimpressed because that is just so "normal."
But Edie's "father," in the midst of a drug-induced epiphany, is reinforced in his belief that monosexual relationships are better than bisexual ones, so he uses his health insurance to retransform himself into a beautiful hermaphrodite man/woman who can have sex with itself, whereupon Edie loses interest in him/her/it altogether, except that Edie is now attracted to her "mother" who was a pre-transformation "man."
But in the meanwhile, Edie's mother has changed species and become a raccoon with a dolphin's brain. As for Edie, she wishes she had been born a cat because then, at least, the title of this story would make more sense, as in “Ediepus Sex”. But she wasn't and it doesn't.
Edie ultimately finds her parents to be repulsively normal in their mixed specie marriage because all her friends' parents are quadrupeds, marsupials, fish or bugs. Edie's parents start arguing about who is at fault for her unhappy childhood and eventually they kill one another in the hot tub with pointed chopsticks to the brain (stabbed through the eyes, of course, because this is a parody of "Oedipus Rex;" chopsticks, of course, because - even though this is a screedplay in one axe - Edie's parents are pacifists who have no axes to grind and nothing sharper than self-defense chop sticks).
Scene Unseen 2
Edie, grateful that she is now legally an orphan, decides to discover her "true parents" by trying to figure out who her donor egg/sperm really were. But it turns out that both egg and sperm were cloned from members of an obscure and badly in-bred religious cult whose creed calls for spreading their genes in the human population through sperm and egg donor banks.
According to the cult's secret technology, Edie's and everyone else's "true" personality can be triggered by an external stimulus from a genetically-engineered gene placed at birth in everyone's cerebellum and activated by a smart phone app for a very popular underclothing sharing platform called Air Underwear.
Edie then embarks on a prophetically tragic mission to warn her generation of the dangers of "Share Underwear." There is a "race against time" to wean folks from the popular app before the app is activated and all of her generation are suddenly transformed into chest-thumping, flag-waving, AR15 bearing MAGA deplorables.
Tragically (because this is a rewrite of Geek mirthology and everything is "tragic"), Edie loses the race. The app is activated. But something goes wrong (a malwear bug has been inserted remotely into everyone's shared underwear software). As a result of the underwear malware, the world reverts back to the Age of Aquarius. Everyone wants to put on tie-dyed clothes and bell bottoms, stick flowers in their hair, say "wow" and "far out" between every other word, and wear peace symbols on beaded necklaces.
Scene Screed 3
Edie is totally weirded out. She takes a vow of social media silence and enters a convent in Midtown Manhattan. She takes up an illegal squat in a windowless 60 square foot micro-apartment where she spends her days scourging herself with the charging cord of her smart phone, vaping lotus flower oil, eating non-GMO gruel, wearing designer sackcloth robes, playing sphinx-like word riddles, and remotely hacking peoples' electronic bank accounts so she can donate stolen cryptocurrency to worthy Go Fuck You causes.