Oh Dog! A Doggerel Manifesto for the Election Weary
Oh Dog Who pooped upon our lawn, A curse be on your master's spawn. Did you mean to so oppress us With your canine turds enormous? I think that I shall never see Our grass as pretty as it could be; The lawn is mostly dark and green, Except where, Dog, you been a-pee'n. Oh Dog, why can't you be like Cat, Sleep all day long, bury your scat? Why can't you sing like a canary? Why do you make the sofa hairy? Oh Dog, before you start my face a-kissin' What was your long pink tongue a-lickin'? You nose is damp with cold wet mucus; Were you just sniffing some doggy's tuchus? Our politics are strictly canine, The Party kennels are as-inine; They promise voters kibble treats, Give T-bone steaks to the elites. Is Donald Trump just an old pooch; Can't learn new tricks and slightly louche? He's not some friendly Irish Setter; More like a snarling Pit Bull Shitter. Oh Harris, you're a dog show Poodle; Well groomed, well trained, but you've no noodle. You're scripted by the Party hacks And Plutocrats who run your pack. Oh Israel! You make everyone's life miserable. You seek a Jewish State, you whine; While genociding Palestine. Like a mad dog you bark and bite, To drag the Yanks into your fight. You froth and howl and snarl a lot, Have you had your rabies shot? Oh Dog Zelensky off the leash; You need be muzzled to make peace. Were you missing half your brain, To invite NATO to Ukraine? There are Dogs in London and D.C. Whose tails will wag most gleefully; When Rome, Berlin, Dublin, Moscow, Warsaw, New York, Kiev and Denver, Seattle, Hong Kong and Paree, All get nuked in World War III. These Dogs who bark the propaganda, Now dog, as well, the Chinese Panda; These purebred Dogs can't stand the shame Of socialists winning their capitalist game. All you Hounds who rule the Earth, You Alpha Dogs of enormous worth, Stop pissing on the whole world's lawn, You piss us off and you're doggone! So when you sniff other dogs' butts, Remember: we're all of us just mongrel mutts; You're not so special, USA, With others you must learn to play. # # # # #
Guillaume Le Testu was an adventurer, privateer and cartographer. His "Cosmologie Universelle" included numerous maps of the world, fancifully illustrated as was the practice at that time. The picture of the dog above was a very tiny section in the lower left corner of Le Testu's world atlas that included a "Map of Australia."
The headpiece illustration is actually from a porcelain tile displayed at William Morris Tile. https://williammorristile.com/medieval/medieval_dogs.html. I used the William Morris tile for the headpiece instead of the original from the 16th Century map because the detail of the small dog - assuming that it actually was supposed to be a dog and not a buck-tooth Tasmanian Tiger - became fuzzy when I tried to blow it up larger.
In about a week, the U.S. elections horror will be over.
TRICK OR TREAT!!!
Half the world will jump for joy! Half the world will sob and cry foul! Half the world will wonder What on Earth Was That All About?
Three halves, you say?
Well, why not. In a world where the "facts" are never known, we have a perfect right - indeed, we are obliged - to make up our own facts to suit our imaginations.
Guillaume Le Testu candidly wrote about the illustrations in his Atlas "...what I have marked and depicted is only by imagination... " We denizens of the 21st Century can relate to that!